Rhymes and ditties that help my parenting

“When you feel so mad that you want to ROAR
Take a deep breath and count to FOUR.
One-Two-Three-Four.”

I sing this to my 2-year-old who is in a screeching match with his sister at the injustice of having to share toys. Both children stop screaming for a second at the cheerful intrusion of the little ditty. I know I started out singing it to help them, but I realize I am mostly singing it to myself. (I have been screaming internally at the situation for the last 60 seconds.)

It gives me a second to regulate my own anger and take a deep breath. 

Daniel Tiger taught me this particular rhyme, and I am forever grateful. Setting behavioral expectations and household rules to music has been a supremely helpful parenting tool for me. I’m not sure how effective it will continue to be as my children age, but I know that it comes in handy for the 7 and under crowd at our house.

Interestingly enough, though, the tunes about emotional regulation also come in quite handy for the over-30 crowd at our house. Do my husband and I sing the rhymes to each other when seemingly appropriate? Yes. Does this come across as helpful and loving in most cases rather than passive aggressive or condescending? Yes. 

The following three verses are my most-used compositions at our house. I’m not sure how to easily share the tunes I use, so pick whatever simple tune seems right. 

Here’s one about responding to others’ requests graciously. It’s for the child dragging his feet when told to pick the cup up himself. It’s for the adult who feels angsty when, after just sitting down to eat himself, his child asks for more.

“Sometimes we choose to do 
Things we don’t want to do
So we can grow in virtue.”

Here’s one about using things appropriately. It’s for the child using a phone charger to lasso his younger sister. It’s for the adult who is on her phone rather than facing the more monotonous chores on her list. 

“It’s not a weapon or a toy,
It's a tool."

Here’s one for our current table manners struggle. It’s for the child who prefers sitting on the table to sitting on his chair. It’s for the adult who prefers standing to sitting down during dinner.

“Plates on the table, 
Bottoms on the chair!”

I have a tendency to tense up in frustration when my children are acting up. Singing helps release that tension, and gives me a chance to breathe instead of snapping. It turns out that setting simple behavior cues to music helps children remember rules and helps adults enforce them calmly. Thanks, Daniel.