Imagine being a happily married man, standing in line in a department store and admiring a woman who is also waiting to check out. Wow, some lucky guy is with her, he thinks, feeling a bit guilty that — by admiring this woman — he was betraying his own wife.
That’s the circumstance comedian Jason Hewlett found himself in, and — though not Catholic — he felt the need to go to his Facebook page and make a “confession”:
I think I sort of cheated on my wife today. … I was at Target getting a few manly things, you know — eyebrow tweezers, toenail clippers, beard trimmers, mustache molding waxes, some beef jerky, sardines, trail mix, a loofah — and as I went to pay I saw this woman in line that knocked me out.
I thought, Wow, some lucky guy is with her, and in a split second I realized it was my wife!
You know, it was just out of context to see my spouse at the same store, in the same line, living her life and not knowing she might be at the same place, same time, different car. There was a person between us, so I just watched my cute little Love, tried to text her stuff like, “Hey, Hottie” and “What are you buying now, my Babelicious?,” none of which got her attention as she was looking for a coupon she’d saved just for this purchase.
So I gave up getting her attention … and instead just stood back and silently observed my feelings about this woman. First off, I was taken aback by how amazingly beautiful she is once again. I believe I see it often, but today, not knowing she was at the store, I saw her with new eyes and just couldn’t believe I get to be her fella. It made me blush — but no one could see it under my huge monster November beard.
Second, it amazed me that she didn’t notice me in the slightest. This is both a good and bad thing. Good in that she doesn’t have a wandering eye. Good in that she didn’t see the creepy dude with the overgrown mink on his face peering over her shoulder. But maybe that’s bad too, like what if it hadn’t been me? I need to get her another can of mace just in case.
Third, I was ultimately so pleased to see her in complete confidence on this day, as the independent, capable, humble, fun, sweet, kind, awesome person she is. And then she grabbed her things and walked out the door. I never said anything, didn’t flag her down, just watched her walk away, admiringly, knowing she’s my wife and I love everything about this woman.
She rarely looks at Facebook so she won’t see this post, she won’t realize she was kind of cheated on today, but I thought I’d share with you all since I’m just a dweeby guy making my way through life, and at the same time sure there are those who have had the same experiences regarding their loved ones in one way or another, and these moments are perfect.
Lesson of the Day: it’s good to look at those we love with fresh eyes whenever we can to remind us how lucky we are to have their light in our lives.
A happy realization for Hewlett, but a reminder, too, that “custody of the eyes” is a valuable, albeit little-taught, discipline that helps to “lead us not into temptation.”
And today we celebrate...