Society

A mother’s letter to her son about porn

"So, sweet James, I’m very glad I 'walked in' on you last week."

Dear James:

First of all, I want to wish you a very happy 12th birthday. You are growing into a beautiful young man, and your father and I love you very much. You’re funny, intelligent and kind, and we couldn’t ask for a sweeter son.

Secondly, I have to tell you how saddened I was last week when I entered your room and saw you were looking at pornographic pictures on your computer. You know we have parental controls on your PC, so I was surprised — and dismayed — to hear you say you accessed these things simply by googling.

I was glad to see that you appeared to understand why we’ve taken away your internet privileges indefinitely. It seemed to me, in fact, that you felt a certain freedom with this punishment, knowing now that you can’t access porn.

Because of your recent actions, I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on pornography.

First I want to say that I understand the temptation of pornography. I looked at porn when I was younger and was mesmerized by its power. I would go into my darkened office, lock the door, pull the blinds and stare at people having sex. After a time, I realized that what I was doing was wrong, and I stopped. What I realized is that God did not plan my sexual life to include porn. I’m sure He abhors porn.

As a writer, I also have to disclose to you that I was once tempted to write pornographic stories. There’s a great deal of money to be made in the porn business, and, yes, I wanted to jump on the bandwagon.

But I didn’t. I stopped myself before I got into the pornography industry. I’m happy to say that I’ve never published pornography, and I never will.

So, son, I get the temptation, the desire and the basic curiosity that comes with wanting to view porn. I’ve been there (and back). I too have sinned in this area.

I’ve realized how great God’s design for sex is. His plan is not about taking away pleasure. On the contrary, as you’ll see for yourself if you marry, sex, when done right, is absolutely wonderful.

More to read: My Son, the Pseudonym

On the other hand, pornography takes away the love and devotion between a couple and only displays naked bodies in various unusual positions. Because of this, after a while, porn actually gets quite boring.

In fact, the only people who are reaping anything from porn are the pornographers, who are making billions of dollars exploiting (often sexually abused) individuals. It’s a tiny leap from sexual abuse to the pornographic trade, which is ultimately a trade of sadness.  When you use porn, you are participating in exploiting these broken individuals.

Finally, I want to tell you that pornography is especially dangerous because it can become addictive and might take away precious time that could be used for productive and sacred things.  Be very careful, therefore, in this arena; the best practice is to completely abstain from using any kind of pornography.

So, sweet James, I’m very glad I “walked in” on you last week.  God was with me when I did this.  He wanted to stop you from indulging in this sinful activity, and He purposefully used me in this task.

In conclusion, I have to say that I am honored to be your mother and to have the opportunity to teach you about God’s loving plans for His children.

May God be with us as we continue to walk this path called life.  May He keep us from evil, and may He guide us each day to do the right thing.

I love you, honey,

Mom

P.S.  Remember this Bible verse from 1 John 1:9—“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”