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Three short (and hilarious) Catholic jokes

Antoine Mekary
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"Hello, Father O'Malley? This is the IRS"

In case you didn’t know, some saints were well-known for having a good sense of humor. Philip Neri (“the Humorous Saint”), Francis De Sales, and Teresa of Avila, for instance, are not only known for their exemplary lives, but also because they certainly knew how to use a proper joke to good effect. But one doesn’t need to go all the way back to the 16th and 17th centuries to find examples of good church humor. For instance, it is said that when a journalist asked Blessed John XXIII (pope from 1958 to 1963) how many people work in the Vatican, the pope paused, thought for a bit and replied, “About half of them.”

Father O’Malley answers the phone.

-Hello, is this Father O’Malley?

-It is

-This is the IRS. Can you help us?

-I can

-Do you know a Ted Houlihan?

-I do

-Is he a member of your congregation?

-He is

-Did he donate $10,000 to the church?

-He will-

After explaining the commandment to honor your father and mother, a Sunday School teacher asked her class if there was a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters.

One boy, the oldest in his family, immediately answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”

His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

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