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The pandemic has been a stressful time for priests

PRIEST
John Burger - published on 06/02/21
Priest-psychologist offers ideas on ways to cope, and how the laity can help their pastors.

Over the past 15 months of the COVID-19 pandemic, many Catholic priests have reported feelings of loss of identity, according to a Canadian psychologist.

Having to preach to empty pews and having to restrict people’s entrance into church, being unable to visit the sick or home-bound, cancelling events, and not hearing a congregation sing have all been “particularly difficult” on priests, said Fr. Stephan Kappler, president and chief psychologist at Southdown, an Ontario-based organization that supports the mental health of religious people and clergy.

“Many have said to me, ‘we never thought that we would become the police officer in the parish,’” Fr. Kappler told the B.C. Catholic, newspaper of the Archdiocese of Vancouver, British Columbia. “Instead of caring pastorally for their people, all they are doing is saying, ‘No, sorry, you have to register.’”

It doesn’t end there, though. The newspaper reported: 

But there are ways priests can help themselves overcome the stress, he said. 

“What I have seen work is for people to be really intentional about social support,” Kappler told the newspaper. “In other words, you have to make an effort and plan to reach out and connect.”

“There is a high percentage of us clergy that are perfectionists,” he continued. “Perfectionism is on the one hand a good thing because it makes you efficient, responsible, and you want to do things that are a very high standard, but it also comes at a pretty high cost, and that cost is that there is no room for weakness.”

While people in general have difficulty asking for help, the problem is worse for clergy, he told the B.C. Catholic. “I have experienced that with priests, it’s exponentially more challenging to say ‘I need help.’ Sometimes priests are put on a pedestal and there’s still stigma attached to mental health.”

Lay people can, of course, help with prayers. But Kappler also suggested writing a card or letter with a simple message of encouragement, assurance of prayers, and a possible offer of support.

“Just to know that you’re thought of and you’re not alone in this,” he said, “that goes a long way.”

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