Micro-cheating and its large impact on relationships

It seems that romantic relationships have become fragile in recent times. It’s harder for people to make permanent commitments to each other and accept the daily sacrifices that true love requires.

Infidelity in a relationship, whether in courtship or marriage, is one of the main destroyers of relationships. It gravely damages or destroys relationships, leading dating couples to break up and married couples to divorce. 

Beyond full-fledged infidelity, however, there are other temptations that we need to be aware of and avoid. In recent months many users in social networks, particularly TikTok, have talked about micro-cheating, those seemingly minor transgressions that can nevertheless damage relationships and even lead to more serious forms of infidelity.

Aleteia consulted psychologist Angie Larios, who shared the importance of first understanding infidelity in general before delving into so-called “micro-cheating.”

Infidelity, according to the expert, is “a behavior that breaks agreements in a couple's relationship.”

Micro-cheating “could be understood as behaviors which, although they do not lead you to break agreements, are very close to breaking them.” We can fall into micro-cheating on a daily basis, in everyday situations or places.

What are some examples are of micro-cheating? Sometimes these semi-infidelities are so subtle that they can go unnoticed or can be left to pass without talking about them. 

Here are some of the most common forms that can be detrimental to a relationship:

You’re in a relationship, but at the same time you maintain constant contact with other people with whom you have a more than totally platonic relationship. The contact could be with an ex whom you still have feelings for, with someone you were once romantically interested in, or with someone who has recently attracted your attention. 

This could include “liking” pictures of scantily clad models, or friending or following people who post hypersexualized photos, or (more obviously) totally explicit content. It also includes going to inappropriate places where you will be to some degree tempted to infidelity.

Keeping your dating profile active while in a relationship and still posting or receiving content from prospects within the app is another obvious example of micro-cheating. It should be clear in this instance how such behavior would almost certainly be understood as a betrayal by your partner.

Flirting — from indiscreet glances to giving certain people “preferential treatment,” regardless of your partner's presence or not — is dangerous ground to tread.

Finally, depending upon your motives, it can also be a form of micro-cheating if you’re not up front with others about the fact that you’re in a relationship. It’s the same if you try to “hide” the person you’re dating, not wanting to present them formally or bring them to gatherings with family or friends. This can be a sign of wanting to avoid committing to your partner.

These are just a few actions you should avoid in your relationship to keep it intact. Don’t forget that it’s important to talk about anything that creates doubt or discomfort. Deal with such issues asap before they become major problems.

Trust and communication form the bedrock of any relationship that is truly loving.