Incorporating the works of mercy into your family’s life

“Mom, can we go visit Barb today?” It was not a particularly busy day, so there was no reason we couldn’t walk over next door and chat with our elderly neighbor for a few minutes. Still, I hesitated. I was unwilling to respond to the Holy Spirit’s nudge because it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my time.

Our neighbor lived alone after the recent death of her husband, for whom she had cared for until the end, and she was slowly losing her eyesight. This meant that the normal activities she would devote her time to during the day started slowly slipping away from her, and she was left with more and more time and fewer and fewer things she could do. It should have been a no-brainer — of course we should say hi to our lonely, sweet neighbor, but I only slowly and reluctantly agreed.

In the end, it turned out to be a lovely visit, and thankfully I didn’t selfishly skip that opportunity to encourage my son’s generosity. But this struggle to give my time is still quite present in my life. What motivates me to address this are the times I wonder if I am actually following Jesus or not. One easy way to check myself is to figure out if I’m saying yes to works of mercy.

Jesus tells us that when we help others we are helping Him (Matthew 25:35), and the Church has enumerated ways to do this in the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. So, when I’m stuck wondering whether I should expend the energy to attempt feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, or burying the dead with my posse of small children, I realize I don’t have a good excuse.

I have heard it said that feeding your own children, clothing them, and taking care of them when they are sick are all works of mercy. And I agree with that to an extent. But I also think that being generous in little ways to those outside of your family is essential. If I don’t practice that right now, will I ever form that habit? And how will my children learn to love others outside of their family?

All of this is tempered with prudence. We aren’t spending our weekends at soup kitchens or approaching homeless camps with food and goodwill. There are still lots of other little things and people who pull on our hearts to help, however.

For us, that has looked like shopping together for donations to our local food pantry, attending community dinners together, keeping in touch, even if that is by letter or phone call, with those who are homebound or ill, making meals for people who have just had a baby or are grieving a loss, meeting the homeless we see on street corners or just waving and smiling as we drive by, attending funerals, visiting cemeteries and reading the graves so we can pray for people by name.

Most of this has come slowly and naturally over time. Perhaps a bulletin or newspaper ad asking for volunteers for something has jumped out at one of us, or maybe one of us meets someone and envisions a way to help him. Everything from social media and email to walking down our street or responding to a knock on our door has helped connect us to ways to love Jesus tangibly in others.

Sometimes I come away from an attempt to love somebody patting myself on the back and basking in the glow of others’ appreciation (and my own pride). At other moments, I walk away in awe, completely humbled by the generosity shown to me by someone I was trying to help. There are also times when I realize my own inadequacy and wonder if I just made a situation worse with my efforts.

Hopefully with continued perseverance and grace, I will be able to get out of Jesus’ way and let Him work through me and my family in the ways He sees best. For now, I’ll get better at saying yes enthusiastically to questions like, “Mom, can we go visit Barb today?”