In our quest for the perfect mate, we can forget that the perfect human doesn’t exist. There are no prince charmings, no knights in shining armor or fairytale princesses. God never parachutes down partners that have been explicitly made for each of us. We all possess a fair share of contradictions including physical and moral flaws. So, how can any of us possibly boast of perfection?
“What I have become thanks to you”
Our current problems can often be explained by our past. From the start, events and circumstances in our lives have been shaping our personalities. If we grew up unloved, misunderstood, or rejected, we’ve kept the scars. If on the contrary we were overprotected, we might have grown needy or over confident. If we’ve only known success we can be tempted by arrogance, never admitting our own faults. What’s more, although the society we live in has forgotten about sin, it still contributes its share of suffering. So, instead of seeking an ideal partner, why not recognize your own shortcomings and accept those of others?
To the extent that you have carefully chosen your partner, the traits of each should guarantee the likelihood of you getting along. This permits each of you to deal with a small number of unavoidable disappointments and frustrations. These shortcomings attest that with God’s grace here on earth each human being is a work in progress. Love means that each of you helps the other to fulfill himself in surpassing his own limitations. Fortunate are the couples who at the end of their earthly journey can tell each other: “What I am now, I’ve become thanks to you.”
Better still, your flaws are an invitation to experience the Paschal mystery. Insomuch as you agree to rid yourself of self-centeredness and a fantasy of living a life of bliss, you can be transformed into a couple rich in its diversity, while awaiting the perfect Bridegroom in life eternal.
Denis Sonet
