Respecting those who do not seem to deserve it is probably one of the top three greatest challenges in human relationships. How do we honor someone’s dignity when they have hurt us, wronged others, or live in ways that we find deeply disordered? A Catholic perspective on the matter depends on one central, straightforward principle: every human being is made in the image of God and, as such, has inherent dignity.
This dignity is not earned through good behavior or moral perfection but is freely given by God – a fact that lies at the heart of Catholic teaching on respect.
Creatures of God
St. Thomas Aquinas links respect to the virtue of justice. In his Summa Theologica, Aquinas defines justice as giving each person what is his or her due. This does not simply mean giving them rewards or punishments based on their actions; it means recognizing what is due to them as creatures of God. Respect, in this sense, is a form of justice that recognizes the intrinsic worth of every person, regardless of how they act. It reflects the justice that God shows us: undeserved grace and mercy for our own shortcomings.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1931) affirms this idea by stating, “Respect for the human person begins with respect for the principle that each person (without exception) should regard his or her neighbor as ‘another self.’” In other words, respecting someone, even when we feel they do not deserve it, is about more than outward politeness – it is about seeing them as equal in dignity to ourselves.
Respect with accountability
But this respect is not passive. Catholic teaching does not suggest that respecting a person means ignoring his or her faults, condoning sinful behavior, or excusing injustice. Justice, as Aquinas explains, includes correction. Genuine respect can include holding someone accountable, not out of vindictiveness or superiority, but out of love and concern for their soul. We can seek justice in the form of accountability while holding fast to the truth that each person is a beloved child of God.
The teachings of Jesus provide the clearest guidance in this regard. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus challenges us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). This is the radical nature of Christian respect – extending love, mercy, and dignity even to those who seem unworthy in our eyes.
When we look closely at the example of Christ, we see that his respect for humanity was never dependent on the behavior of the individual. Jesus reached out to tax collectors, prostitutes, and sinners not because he approved of their actions, but because he saw in them what was often invisible to others: their God-given dignity and potential for redemption.
An important distinction
This doesn’t mean that we are called to be doormats or to silently tolerate wrongdoing. The Catholic faith balances justice with mercy. A saying attributed to St Augustine, “Hate the sin, love the sinner,” somehow captures the essence of how we are to approach others. Respecting someone means recognizing their dignity, but it also allows us to oppose actions that harm or degrade human life. We can oppose someone’s actions and still respect their personhood.
In the end, respecting those who do not seem to deserve it is an opportunity for personal transformation. It is in these moments that we are invited to grow in humility, charity, and understanding. We reflect Christ’s love when we respect others in their imperfections, as He respects and loves us in ours.
To respect others in this radical, Christ-like way is not only possible – it is part of our calling as Catholics.
