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8 Rules for modern-day dating inspired by the Bible

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Cerith Gardiner - published on 10/23/24
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Dating and fed up? See how Scripture can guide you through the oft-tricky process.

Dating in the modern era can often feel like you're navigating a maze. Between social media, dating apps, and an endless flow of relationship advice, it’s easy to get lost. This can leave you feeling a little confused and deflated, preventing you from building meaningful connections.

Thankfully, however, help is at hand that can inspire you to create healthy boundaries, improve communication, or simply to know what to look for.

And this timeless wisdom can be found in the pages of the Bible. While Scripture doesn’t explicitly talk about dating (it's actually fun to imagine how the likes of Abraham and Sarah, or even Joseph and Mary, first felt when they met each other), it does offer valuable principles that can inspire how we approach relationships today.

Therefore, take a look below to explore some fun and uplifting modern dating “rules” inspired by biblical teachings:

1Rule: Don’t rush things — give love time to grow

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Why it’s useful: In today’s fast-paced dating culture, we often want instant connections. But lasting love takes time! Being patient allows both people to grow individually and together, helping relationships form naturally. Kindness and selflessness should be at the heart of any good relationship, and this verse reminds us to let these virtues guide us through the ups and downs of dating.

2Rule: Protect your heart and pace your emotional investment

With all vigilance guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.” — Proverbs 4:23

Why it’s useful: It’s easy to get swept away by emotions, especially in the early stages of dating. Proverbs reminds us to protect our hearts, not by closing ourselves off, but by being mindful of who we let in and how much we invest early on. Taking things slow emotionally helps avoid unnecessary heartbreak and ensures the relationship is based on something real.

3Rule: Look for someone who challenges you to be better!

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17

Why it’s useful: A great relationship should help you grow. Dating someone who challenges you to be the best version of yourself — whether spiritually, emotionally, or mentally — can make a world of difference. If your partner encourages you to pursue your dreams, deepen your faith, or work on yourself, you’re on the right track!

4Rule: Find someone who supports and lifts you up

Two are better than one: they get a good wage for their labor. If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one. But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Why it’s useful: Dating is about partnership. This verse reminds us that we should seek someone who will support us when times are tough, just as we would support them. A healthy relationship is a team effort where both people lift each other up and help one another become stronger.

5Rule: Share your core values and faith

Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

Why it’s useful: While differences can be exciting, sharing core values can be essential for long-term compatibility. This doesn’t mean your partner should be exactly like you or must agree with you about everything, but a relationship grounded in certain shared beliefs, especially in matters of faith, can help to build a solid foundation. Sharing a set of core values will hopefully allow you to grow in the same direction, making it easier to support and understand each other on deeper levels.

6Rule: Be clear and honest in your communication

Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’” — Matthew 5:37

Why it’s useful: Clear communication is key in any relationship. Ambiguity can lead to confusion and hurt feelings, so it’s important to be honest and upfront about your intentions, boundaries, and feelings. If you’re interested, say so. If not, be kind but clear. Directness avoids misunderstandings and fosters trust, something every great relationship is built on.

7Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” — Matthew 22:39

Why it’s useful: This golden rule is a dating essential. Treat your date with the same kindness, respect, and dignity you would want for yourself. This means being considerate of their feelings, avoiding games, and always striving for mutual respect. By following this, you create a space where both people feel valued and understood.

8Rule: Don’t stress — trust in God’s timing

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.” — Philippians 4:6

Why it’s useful: Dating can be stressful, especially when we overthink every little interaction or worry about the future. This verse encourages us to let go of anxiety and trust that everything will unfold in the right way at the right time. Instead of stressing, pray for guidance and peace. Sometimes, taking a deep breath and trusting in the process can make all the difference.

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