Anger can often get the better of us, especially for parents who are trying to deal with rebellious children.
We can also get thrown into a rage when driving to work, exploding in anger at someone who cut us off.
In these instances, we need to calm ourselves down before we do anything harmful that will have long lasting effects.
Tips from a saint
St. Frances de Sales writes at length about anger in his Introduction to the Devout Life.
His first bit of advice is to go immediately to God for help:
If you are like the Psalmist, ready to cry out, “Mine eye is consumed for very anger,” go on to say, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord;” so that God may stretch forth His Right Hand and control your wrath. I mean, that when we feel stirred with anger, we ought to call upon God for help, like the Apostles, when they were tossed about with wind and storm, and He is sure to say, “Peace, be still.”
Furthermore, we shouldn't let our anger seep into our prayers. We could end-up fueling our anger if we try to involve God in our rage against another persons.
St. Francis de Sales suggests, "that your very prayers against the angry feelings which urge you should be gentle, calm, and without vehemence. Remember this rule in whatever remedies against anger you may seek."
Another way to help the situation is to immediately atone for any harm you may have done to someone in your anger.
St. Francis de Sales believed this was a necessary part of healing our own soul:
[A]tone for the fault by some speedy act of meekness towards the person who excited your anger. It is a sovereign cure for untruthfulness to unsay what you have falsely said at once on detecting yourself in falsehood; and so, too, it is a good remedy for anger to make immediate amends by some opposite act of meekness. There is an old saying, that fresh wounds are soonest closed.
The more we turn to God in our anger and make immediate amends, the more likely we will have a calmer response the next time we are provoked.
