What modern dating experts seem to be forgetting

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, for some single people it can be a day that makes them feel incredibly deflated and lonely. After all, it's hard witnessing a day devoted to love when there's no one special in your life, and you wish there were.

Unfortunately the problem is only amplified when you come across the myriad of advice being shared by supposed experts in the field of dating on digital platforms.

In fact, if you're scrolling through social media and you click on posts aimed at singles searching for love, you'll come across some pretty common themes:

Red flags in relationships (so no-go zones); green flags (a checklist of acceptable behavior); the importance of having clear expectations and boundaries (and having them met); the need for endless communication to express your endless needs, as well as a lot of encouragement to find happiness in yourself.

It's plain exhausting, often unrealistic -- my dad would never have stood a chance if my mom had applied these points! -- and setting potential couples up to fail before they've even met.

The problem is that there's a lot of armchair psychology going on, too. Men are often described as narcissistic if they happen to have a red flag, and women often fall into a bipolar category if they're seen as demanding. These are actually very serious behavioral issues, but they're easily assigned to people if they don't meet the high expectations of others.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't have needs, expectations, and boundaries, but there also needs to be a focus, too, on compromise.

It seems to be a concept that's a little dated these days. Yet, in the world of dating, it's something that we need to consider more and more. Our lifestyles are often a lot more complex than back at the time our parents were dating. We're pulled in so many directions that finding a middle ground can be tricky.

But perhaps it's the key element to dating that might really lead to harmony, and happiness. To help you along the way, we've come up with some top tips in how to compromise when dating:

In dating, especially when faith and personal values are part of your life, it's important to acknowledge and respect each other's beliefs, boundaries, and perspectives. Even when opinions differ, treating each other with dignity lays the foundation for meaningful dialogue.

Healthy compromise doesn’t mean abandoning your principles or pretending everything is negotiable. Be clear about your non-negotiables (faith, family values, or long-term goals) and be equally willing to hear your partner’s priorities without dismissing them.

Not every disagreement needs to turn into a major issue. Learning to differentiate between important matters and minor preferences (like choosing a restaurant or deciding weekend plans) keeps things in perspective and reduces unnecessary tension.

Instead of approaching disagreements with "I'm right, you're wrong," try using language that invites understanding, like "Help me understand where you're coming from." Avoid blame and accusations; focus on solutions instead.

Compromise often requires humility — being willing to let go of always needing to be "right." Try putting yourself in your partner's shoes. Why might this issue be important to them? Empathy fosters a spirit of cooperation rather than competition.

Dating isn’t just about the present moment but about exploring a possible future together. Ask yourself, "Will this issue matter in the long run?" Keeping a shared vision of love, respect, and mutual growth makes it easier to navigate day-to-day challenges.

Sometimes compromise isn’t about splitting things down the middle but finding an entirely new solution. Be creative and flexible — maybe both of you can discover something even better than your initial preferences.

Dating is a learning experience. Every time you navigate differences together with kindness, patience, and understanding, you strengthen your relationship and prepare yourselves for future challenges.

If you're struggling to find compromise on important matters, don't hesitate to seek advice from trusted mentors, friends, or counselors who respect your faith and values.

No one gets it right all the time. Celebrate the moments when you successfully navigate differences, and be patient with each other when things don't go perfectly. Love grows when nurtured with patience and grace.