When living in a polarized world, it is tempting to be overly defensive of our particular viewpoint.
What happens is that when we see someone on the "other" side doing something we think is wrong, we are tempted to drag them in the dirt publicly.
In the social media age, this means that we rush to post a nasty comment on our favorite platform, telling the whole world how terrible the other person is.
We often do this, not only because we feel that we are justified, but because we think it is the "Christian" thing to do.
Didn't Jesus call the Pharisees names?
Isn't it a Christian thing to "tell the truth"?
While we may think that we are serving God while pulling someone else down, we are actually doing the opposite.
Three murders
St. Francis de Sales believed that publicly destroying a person's name was never a good idea. He explains in his Introduction to the Devout Life, how it commits "three murders":
[T]he slanderer commits three several murders with his idle tongue: he destroys his own soul and that of him who hearkens, as well as causing civil death to the object of his slander; for, as St. Bernard says, the Devil has possession both of the slanderer and of those who listen to him, of the tongue of the one, the ear of the other...Aristotle says that, like the forked, two-edged tongue of the serpent, so is that of the slanderer, who at one dart pricks and poisons the ear of those who hear him, and the reputation of him who is slandered.
Slander, for St. Francis de Sales, was not only disclosing untrue statements, but also true ones.
My daughter, I entreat you never speak evil of any, either directly or indirectly; beware of ever unjustly imputing sins or faults to your neighbor, of needlessly disclosing his real faults, of exaggerating such as are overt, of attributing wrong motives to good actions, of denying the good that you know to exist in another, of maliciously concealing it, or depreciating it in conversation. In all and each of these ways you grievously offend God, although the worst is false accusation, or denying the truth to your neighbor’s damage, since therein you combine his harm with falsehood.
We may think that we are serving God by telling the world the truth about someone, but when we do such a thing with an evil intent, we cancel out any good it could have done.
Certainly at times we need to speak the truth, but the appropriate sequence should be to first confront the person, instead of publicly proclaiming their faults for all to see.
We need to keep in mind that we are not God, and that we do not always know the full picture. It is much better to handle things offline, in a more personal way, than by trying to show someone their wrongdoing by posting it in a public setting.
Above all we should pray for those we detest, loving our enemies as Christ has asked us to do.
