It’s no secret that as children grow into teenagers and young adults, some begin to drift away from regular Mass attendance. Sports, social plans, or just a desire to sleep in can make Sunday morning church seem like an optional activity rather than a priority. Many Catholic parents struggle with how to handle this resistance — should they push, negotiate, or simply let it go?
Fr. David Michael Moses offers a refreshingly simple perspective: What would you do if your 16-year-old announced they weren’t going to school on Mondays? Would you shrug and say, “Okay, if you don’t feel like it”? Of course not. You’d insist they go because education is non-negotiable. The same principle applies to Mass, as he explains in the video below:
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Faith, like education, is an essential part of a young person’s development. While it’s easy to enforce school attendance because of societal expectations and legal requirements, parents sometimes feel unsure about holding the same firm stance when it comes to faith. But if we truly believe that Mass is nourishment for the soul, then we wouldn't give our teens the impression that it’s expendable.
That doesn’t mean dragging them out of bed with frustration or turning Mass into a battleground. Instead, it means setting clear expectations with love and consistency.
A few ways to make Mass non-negotiable in your home
Make it routine: Just like school or family dinners, Mass should be an expected part of the week. If it’s treated as optional by you, teens will treat it that way too.
Lead by example: If parents approach Mass with enthusiasm and commitment, rather than as an obligation, it sends a strong message.
Talk about the "why": Teens are more likely to engage when they understand the reasons behind something. Discuss what Mass offers and all that is happening there, beyond what we can see with our eyes.
Be compassionate but firm: Acknowledge their feelings but remain consistent. Just as they may not always feel like going to school but must, the same applies to Mass.
Find a Mass they connect with: If possible, attend a Mass where other young people make the experience more inviting.
