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When Your Husband Is A Porn Addict

Esther Simpson

Odilia - published on 05/28/14

1. Resolve to get help right now. Go to an SA meeting as soon as possible. Today. Don’t make excuses; you’ve made them for too long already.

2. Sure, explore other treatment options; but an SA meeting is a really good way to start without further delay. Today. If there isn’t an SA meeting nearby, go to another 12-step meeting.

3. Love yourself enough to want to get healthy. You’re probably in this situation because a lot of crappy things happened to you and you’ve chosen a lot of crappy things for yourself (not to mention for your spouse and children). You can deal with all of that later, but first get sober.

4. If the computer is the problem, throw it out, lock it down, get an accountability partner.

5. Your wife is not your accountability partner, your therapist, or your confessor. She’s also not God, not the parent who failed you, or whomever else you’re angry at. Stop using her to make you feel superior and better about yourself. Stop blaming her. Stop pointing out her flaws. You may not be ready or able to love her as you should since you can’t even begin to truly love yourself until you get sober and stay sober. But stop hurting her more than you have already.

6. Understand that she is angry and will be for a long time. The only hope you have of being any help to her is to own your behavior and stop the sexual acting out.

7. If other addictions are involved, seek help for them, too. Your sexual addiction, however, will be the most challenging to overcome.

8. If you have children or want to have children, stop your addiction. Otherwise, your children will go on to marry men like you or become men like you because you’ll be the example of a man that they know most. You can only start to turn things around by living sexual integrity.

Stay tuned for Part II: “A brief analysis of sexual addiction and pastoral advice.”

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Tags:
AddictionPornography
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