Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Thursday 29 July |
Saint of the Day: Sts Martha, Mary and Lazarus of Bethany
home iconLifestyle
line break icon

A different kind of locker room talk: Abortion hurts men, too

André Schrei CC

Julie Argenziano - published on 01/27/17

Once again I came strangely face-to-face with the reality of abortion and its effects on men

I walked into a politically charged conversation in the women’s locker room at the gym today. Awkward.

I don’t usually go barging into strangers’ conversations. And especially not while trying to take a shower!

Besides, I was in a hurry. It was already my second attempt at getting myself cleaned up and on to the rest of my day, after having found the lockers closed for cleaning some minutes before. A friend was watching my kids for me outside the locker room, and I needed to get going.

But these two women glanced at me, and I gave a sheepish smile, and I guess that was my in …

There the three of us were, all of us half undressed, as one of them started recounting her son’s experience with abortion.

He had had two different girlfriends seek out abortions. And both times, she said, they were devastating for her son.

The first time, she explained, he was crying and angry at the doctor. I gently suggested that that was the most natural reaction in the world, as it was his innate instinct to protect.

After the second abortion, she continued, he turned to drugs and his life has spiraled down from there.

I spoke to her about Rachel’s Vineyard and its work with post-abortive men. She’d never heard of an organization trying to help men suffering from abortion, and said she would try to relay the information to her son. But, she lamented, they’ve become estranged.

I assured her that our meeting was for a reason. (Remember it was already my second attempt at a shower!) And I promised her that I would offer my prayers for her son, for Christopher, this Friday at the March for Life. Prayer can move mountains.

Today’s experience was the second time I’ve come strangely face-to-face with the reality of abortion and its effects on men.

It was about five years ago that a young neighbor from across the street randomly wandered onto my driveway.

We weren’t close to his family, so the encounter was all the more unexpected.

“So my girlfriend had an abortion today,” he started off. Tears filled the eyes of this muscular, car-loving, 21-year-old kid.

He looked off into the distance.

“I know she and I aren’t together right now, but I told her I would raise that baby. I already told my dad, and we were going to raise him. I know it was a boy. I even had a name or two picked out.”

There was so little I could say. I told him that the baby is still his baby and he can still name him.

Shortly after that, we moved away so I never really knew what happened. And since we weren’t close to his family at all, I don’t have any more contact with him.

But he’s part of why I’ll march this Friday. For him, for Christopher.

I do march for the babies, and for their moms. But for their dads too.

AbortionMarch for LifePro-life
Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...

Top 10
J-P Mauro
Reconstructing a 12th-century pipe organ discovered in the Holy L...
Cerith Gardiner
Gold-winning Filipina Olympian shares her Miraculous Medal for th...
Zelda Caldwell
World-record winning gymnast Simone Biles leans on her Catholic f...
Joachim and Anne
Philip Kosloski
Did Jesus know his grandparents?
Mathilde De Robien
Did you know Princess Di was buried with a rosary?
Philip Kosloski
This morning prayer is easy to memorize
Philip Kosloski
This prayer to St. Anthony is said to have “never been know...
See More
Get Aleteia delivered to your inbox. Subscribe here.