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A divorce lawyer saved a marriage with these 4 questions

Couple Contemplating Divorce


Amélie Hillairet - published on 09/17/17

Answer these before you take a step you might regret.

Rafael Gonçalves, a young Brazilian family lawyer who specializes in divorce, posted a photo of a note he gave to one of his clients on Facebook — and it went viral. The note listed the documents required to officially begin divorce proceedings; but then there’s a postscript inviting the couple to answer four questions before returning with the documentation. When he was asked about this later on, Gonçalves explained that, while talking with his client, he realized she still loved her husband.

Read more:
Hollywood Sours on Divorce and Embraces the Family

A divorce lawyer who reconciles his clients

“I’ve lost a client, but I gained a couple of friends,” Rafael explained on Facebook.

Despite the risk of reducing his clientele, he gave these four questions to his client to allow her to reflect before going through with the divorce. It was a beautiful gesture by a person whose job usually consists in ending marriages. “I don’t think I did anything special and, in my opinion, all my colleagues should act the same way,” he told Good News Network.

The 4 questions that made the difference

Here are the questions Rafael gave his client:

— Have I done everything I can to save my marriage?
— Right now, is divorce really the best solution?
— Who are the people who most influence me?
— How many difficult moments have you overcome together, and how did you meet?

The next day, the couple came back to him explaining that they no longer wished to continue the divorce proceedings. Clearly, they took the time to ask the right questions about their relationship, and decided that they should give each other a second chance.

“Nobody starts dating planning to break up, and nobody marries planning a divorce. We live in a society that trades or throws something away instead of fixing it, and this is sadly being applied to relationships, too,” Gonçalves explained.

Read more:
Do you want to save your marriage? There is a prayer for that!

Reflect before acting

“Sometimes I have to deal with couples who are still confused when they decide to start divorce proceedings, and in the heat of emotion, they don’t think very well before making this decision. [In this case], the divorce was unnecessary — so much so, that they’re still together today,” said Gonçalves. That’s the reason why he decided to post his note on social media, in the hope of being able to help other couples.

Read more:
A single phrase helped save this marriage

A new love guru?

Some 330,000 Facebook “likes” later, Rafael Gonçalves decided to open private pages in order to allow other women to discuss their relationship problems. “Everything they post is classified,” he explains. In his free time, Rafael Gonçalves regularly posts advice on matters of love on his page, not hesitating to turn to the Bible for support.

This article was originally published on the French edition of Aleteia, and has been translated and/or adapted here for Spanish-speaking readers.

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