Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Sunday 25 July |
The Feast of Saint James the Great
home iconLifestyle
line break icon

How to move forward as a couple when you find yourselves at a standstill

Olena Yakobchuk | SHUTTERSTOCK

Edifa - published on 11/12/20

There are several ways to revive a love relationship.

A bump in the relationship, dwindling love and admiration, perpetual conflicts over small things … There can be several causes for the “death” of a relationship. But do not despair; a couple can always function again. However, for there to be renewal for the couple, two questions must be answered in the affirmative: “Do you want to save your marriage?” and “Are you ready to resort to the necessary means?” Because those means exist.

When a couple works out a new way to see their relationship, they are reborn

First, it is important to restore communication within the couple. Each spouse must be able to express their expectations, their desires, their disappointments … but without passing judgment. It is necessary to be able to point out the causes of the problems.

Second, we must rediscover the things we admire in the other. Admiration is the gateway to love. Too often, we focus on little defects and irritating habits, instead of seeing the best qualities of the other.

Finally, offering gestures of love can make feelings reappear later.

But the means also exist outside the couple. When the cause of the problem has been identified and a spouse feels helpless about it, they need to have the intelligence and humility to let themselves be helped as soon as problems arise. Many couples resort to assistance after too much time has passed. Most couples go through struggles, but the longer it goes on, the more challenging it can become.

When a couple works out a new way to see their relationship, it is reborn: every individual problem that is overcome allows the couple to improve on the previous situation. The painter Auguste Renoir said: “When an event or a person arises in life (as is the case with adultery), we either die or are resurrected because of it.” Once it is done, it is better to resurrect.

Denis Sonet

Read more:
What are the best tools for communicating well in marriage?

Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...

Top 10
Philip Kosloski
This morning prayer is easy to memorize
Cerith Gardiner
8 Powerful quotes from Nightbirde that will fill you with hope
Daniel Esparza
5 Curious things you might not know about Catholicism
Philip Kosloski
Why is Latin the official language of the Church, instead of Aram...
Daniel Esparza
3 Legendary pilgrimages off the beaten path
Daniel Esparza
Who are the cherubim in the Bible?
Zelda Caldwell
Did Jesus wear “tefillin” as some observant Jews do t...
See More