If you’re a parent on a budget (and who isn't these days?) or who gets easily overstimulated, I want to share with you my new favorite parenting hack. It’s something I like to call the “play date birthday party.”
Instead of throwing a big bash, my birthday kid gets to invite just 3 or 4 of their closest friends over for a small, intimate gathering. My husband takes our other kids out of the house while the kids enjoy the sweetest, most peaceful birthday celebration you can imagine.
We do a fun craft together, play a game or two, and enjoy cupcakes (or the dessert of my kiddo’s choice). Older kids can roll out pizza dough and top their own mini pizzas. Younger kids can decorate cookies or cupcakes with sprinkles. The kids come up with their own games, often putting together a “show” for me, or going off to play with dolls or dress-ups.
A welcome change
As a mom of four, I stumbled onto this idea out of necessity. Three of my kids have fall and winter birthdays, ruling out the backyard parties I like to throw in the summer. And with four young kids, it wasn’t in the budget to host a giant blow-out bash for each of their birthdays.
But I still wanted them to have a chance to celebrate with their best friends. I realized that a little planning and effort on my part would result in a beautiful celebration that would be just as fun as something extravagant.
And the truth is, play date parties aren’t just about keeping the party inexpensive. Even more importantly, they’re about keeping the event calm, peaceful, and chaos-free.
Parents aren’t the only ones who can get stressed by a big crowd. When one of my kids was younger, I made the mistake of inviting a crowd of kids to a giant birthday bash. My child ended up totally overwhelmed and cried at some point from the sheer sensory overstimulation.
I really didn’t want that. Kids' birthday parties often feel like a three-ring circus, full of noise, chaos, and sugar-fueled frenzy. I love that a play date party trades in all of that chaos for a small group of friends actually spending quality time together.
They chat and giggle while they work on their crafts. They form real connections that just aren't possible when there are 20 kids bouncing off the walls. It’s so much more enjoyable for all of us.
The exact formula
If you’d like to throw your own play date party, here’s how I do it.
About a month before the party, I check in with the moms to find a day and time that works for everyone. (Since the guest list is so small, I want to make sure everyone can attend!) I usually plan on a Saturday morning, but you could also do it in the afternoon after school, or any time you like. The ease of scheduling is part of the beauty of these parties.
About two weeks before the party, I have my kids make invitations and send them to their friends in the mail. This step is totally unnecessary but the kids just find it incredibly fun. Sending and receiving mail is such a thrill for them.
A week before the party, I buy materials for a simple craft and any games. For the last few parties, I bought small canvases and washable paints for the kids to make their own paintings, costing about $20 total. I also plan with the birthday child what food they want to serve.
A day or two before the party, I do any food prep that’s needed, such as making pizza dough and baking cupcakes. I usually make all the food myself because cooking is my hobby and something I really enjoy (and here you can find our favorite pizza dough and chocolate cake recipes). But you can just as easily use a box mix or pick up frozen pizza and cupcakes from the grocery store. I estimate about $20 for the food.
On the day of the party, I hang up any decorations. As the children arrive, they start painting their canvases. After painting, we top pizzas or decorate cupcakes, then sing to the birthday child and enjoy dessert. After that, we open gifts, then play games or I let the kids play independently however they want.
These parties are delightfully low-key, with a peaceful, almost magical atmosphere. Instead of ending the day with overstimulated, sugar-crashed kids (and an equally exhausted mom), we wrap up with happy, well-regulated children who've had a calm yet fun time of connecting with their closest friends.
If you get a chance to try out a “play date party” for yourself, I’d love to hear how it goes for you and your child. I hope you love it as much as we do!
