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“I find it deeply selfish that fathers have no voice”


Photo by Bruno Aguirre on Unsplash

Anna Raisa Favale - published on 06/02/19

A man on the subway was deeply upset ... I didn't know what else to say to him.

The Artistic Director from Aleteia’s video department shares an experience she recently had:
I’m sitting on a subway train. A guy comes in and sits beside me. I quickly notice that he looks deeply upset. I can’t help but hear that he’s starting to cry, as he is looking at his cellphone over and over again.

Eventually, I ask: “Are you ok?”

“Sorry,” he replies, wiping his tears with his shirt sleeve.

“My girl was pregnant. I was so happy; my family was so happy. She called me 10 minutes ago and she told me she got an abortion. But I didn’t know anything about it! She didn’t tell me anything. It’s not right. He was my son as well!”

The tears start again.

I sit quietly, shocked.


I’m already convinced of the fact that abortion is an absurd thing — because it legalizes a murder, and I can’t understand how we can accept it, and even promote it.

But as a woman, I’m doubly convinced that it is absurd that the choice belongs to the woman alone. Two people conceive; two people have chosen; two people — always and no matter what.

I find it deeply selfish that fathers have no voice.

The child in her womb is also his child, as that young man insisted.


I didn’t know how to answer him.

I couldn’t say anything more than “I’m so sorry. You’re right.”


At the next stop, a woman with her child came in, sat just in front of us, and started playing together.

The young man looked at her, but only for a moment. Then he started to cry again.


Before leaving the train, I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, “God bless you.”

I didn’t know what to else to say.


One thing I know: I will never forget those dark brown eyes. The eyes of that father.


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