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Why Are Catholics so Obsessed with Sex?

Beverly De Soto/Regina Magazine

Beverly De Soto - Regina Magazine - published on 08/10/14

I thought about this.

“These ideas are still pertinent,” I said slowly. “But they’re not important now. What’s important is what you should do for your ultimate happiness.”

“Happiness?” she cried unhappily. “I was happy. I had a boyfriend! I want a boyfriend! I don’t want a baby!”

“Okay,” I said, trying hard to think. Suddenly I had an idea. “So what are you crying about?”

She looked at me, dumbstruck.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean, you seem pretty clear. You don’t want a baby. You want Jamie. He doesn’t want a babyor at least he doesn’t want you if you have a baby. So, what’s the problem? Why are you so upset?”

“B-because of J-Jamie. B-because I have to do this!” she cried.

“Well, you don’t have to do anything,” I said slowly, trying to think. “Sorry, but you seem pretty upset—what exactly is bothering you about Jamie’s reaction?”

“W-well, it does seem pretty harsh,” she said uncertainly.

“Uh, yes,” I said, with irony. “It sounds like he doesn’t care too much, doesn’t it?”

She looked at me sharply.

“I mean, he doesn’t want you if you have a baby. What does that tell you? Would you not want him if he had a child? Your child?”

“N-no, of course not,” she said, drying her eyes.

“So what do you think will happen after you abort your child?” I said. “You think that everything will go back to the way it was?”

“Maybe,” she said, but looked doubtful.

“Probably not,” I said, though reluctant to hurt her feelings. “It never does.”

She sighed heavily.

“I-I thought the same thing. I really want things to go back to the way they were. But they probably won’t.”

“So, then, you said you want a boyfriend, not a baby.”

“Yes, well, I don’t want a baby now. I mean, I eventually want a baby. I mean, if Jamie wanted the baby, it would be different.”

“So wait a minute. Now you are saying that you would want a baby, if things were different?”

“Y-yes,” she said, and grew silent.

I sighed.

“I kind of see what you were saying,” she said quietly. “About how sex hasn’t really changed in all of history.”

“No, people don’t really change,” I said, groping for words. “So, let’s say you have an abortion, what do you think will happen with Jamie?”

Jessica heaved a deep sigh. “I dunno. I asked him if he would go with me, and he asked why couldn’t I have a girlfriend go with me.”

She looked intensely unhappy. I counted to five quickly, in the hopes of forestalling the expletive that I really wanted to use to describe dear old Jamie.

“It doesn’t sound like he wants to be involved,” I ventured, finally.

The tears started coursing down Jessica’s cheeks again. I sighed and put my arm around her.

“Look,” I said. “You said you want to have a child, right? And of course you want to have a man. But it looks like right now you have a child, and you don’t have a man.”

Jessica nodded, and wiped her eyes. I have to say, I admired her honesty in this moment.

“You can’t change Jamie,” I said, bluntly.

“N-no, I can’t,” she admitted.

“So the Jamie question is quite separate from the baby question,” I said, summoning my courage. But she was way ahead of me.

“Oh, how can I do this by myself?” she cried suddenly, and broke out into fresh tears.

As a married mother of two, I had to admit it was a daunting prospect, even for a girl of Jessica’s considerable talents. Although she had a great job, her family would probably tell her to abort.

I decided to be really blunt.

“Listen,” I said. “You have a right to have this baby. Moreover, you have a right to be treated well by the father of this baby, and by your own family. “

She shook her head violently. “My mum will say I’m a fool,” she said. “My sister too.”

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Tags:
FamilyMarriagePracticing MercySexuality
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